Going to start regular updates… or going to try

That’s right! You read the title correctly. I am actually going to make a solid attempt at getting off my butt and trying to keep this updated. Why you may ask? Well I don’t really have a decent answer to that. More than anything just because I feel like it, and because for ONCE I don’t feel whiney so perhaps this might actually be the kind of blog I always intended it to be.

Namely one that doesn’t sound like it was written by a 14 year old emo Steph

Wow. I just realised I’m wearing a towel. How did I not notice that?

Aaaanyway…
So. Steph’s world. What can I tell you?
Things are finally looking up. I finally feel like a normal human being with normal emotions and normal reactions.
Although still not zombified. Still totally capable of flying off the handles and being ridiculously intense it’s lovely. I’m so pleased. I shall treasure it while it lasts.
I finally broke out of my rut a bit too. I’ve been going out and doing things, meeting new people and volunteering and just generally being alive. Flashdance on Wednesday was absolutely awesome. Probably my second best ever night out. Maybe even my best, it was just so fun. I spent about half of it loving the company of some of my awesome friends, and the other half with some random guy who never bothered to ask my name but treated me like a princess anyway (hard to believe huh?). And shite could he dance O_O all who know me know that I hate to dance. I didn’t really get much of a choice! He tried to teach me and just generally ignored it when I screwed up, but omg it was SO MUCH FUN. I never thought I’d have fun doing something like that – but I guess knowing I’d never see him again made it a bit easier to not be self conscious about how I looked or how sweaty I was plus he didn’t care. He wasn’t in it for the hookup, he just wanted someone to dance with and have some fun. It was great – I wish I’d thanked him at the end of the night.
Other than that I spent Tuesday at a training day for uni, which was actually… great! The training itself was all the sort of crap I covered during peer mediation in high school (huh I forgot I’d been considered a part of that. Forgot to include it on my list of stuff to give to Campbell at the end of Year 12 – d’oh!) but I got a chance to get to know a couple of the girls from uni a lot better, which was great. I’ve been making more of an effort and it’s just so nice to feel like I’ve finally got some friends at uni XD (as in within my course )
What else…? Hmmm… met Ross, who was hilarious. Had Lewis over on Monday, which scored me a judgmental glare from my mother. Went to gym and worked so hard I threw up, then went to gym again and worked so hard with Heather that my arms hurt too much to really hold the steering wheel whilst driving home woo! I’m sure I did much more than this but it’s 1am and my brain refuses to function. The point is that I actually have something to write other than “felt like crap, stayed in my room all week” which is my usual byline.

I’ve planned some stuff to keep the year interesting. Going to birds of Tokyo with Amy and Mez, going to Live At Monarto (but staying in murray bridge) with Amy also starting volunteering with the animal welfare league around april (so excited!). The house will be built around June, so very much looking forward to that. PARENTS ARE GOING AWAY FOR FIVE WEEKS! Scoooore! I even organised for Adam to house sit my Uncle’s place (he’s going with them, and it was easier for me to stay at OUR house because work is about five minutes away) so I DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIM EITHER! House to myself. Pure bliss. Someone better come over and cook for me lest I accidentally burn down the house I also want to see if I can visit Pete again sometime in the holidays – though probably for a much shorter time as my bank balance ached last time Saving for Canada too, which SHOULD be happening in February ‘11. Here’s hoping! Also doing some stuff with uni – more leadership stuff (well, “mentoring”, but they’ve decided they don’t like that word) which should be really cool. Giving a couple of speeches next week, though have no idea what I’m going to say XD “well I hated uni till about a week ago… so uh… yeah… enjoy!” – I also found out about On Dit, the uni newspaper. And found out how to write for it… I am totally going to try to do that as often as I can. I don’t care if they don’t publish me, I just need the practice. And I think it’d be so damn cool to see my name in print (even if anyone could )
Really only thing that could make life better right now would be for Andrew to reappear from his disappearance oh lord I’m pathetic. -facepalm-
I think you should all be thoroughly amazed with me right now A couple of months ago I wouldn’t have bothered to organise a damn thing. I wouldn’t have even thought I’d be around for it.

So that’s about it for now really I had the shift from hell at work today, and have another fun-filled shift to look forward to tomorrow. At least on Sunday I should be seeing Tom, so the weekend won’t be a total bust. And Lewis said he’d come around tomorrow if he could find the time, so who knows. Might actually be a good weekend.
Either way, with all that in mind, I need to sleep.

Goodnight and stay tuned. I WILL actually update this!

It’s so nice…

When someone randomly understands exactly what you’re going through before you even try to explain it. It’s even nicer when they somehow seem to know exactly what to do, and do it. Just out of kindness.

I’m really grateful for people today.

Probably too tired to string a coherant sentence

So I guess you could say I’m a little on the up. Well, in comparison to how awful I felt on Monday night that’s hardly a surprise. You KNOW something’s up when you’re in the company of two of your best mates who are being their usual hilarious selves and you’re still feeling miserable. But eh such is life, and I’m feeling a little better. Still panicked as hell and confused as hell about certain things but whatever. I’m dealing with it

I’m borrowing Amy’s old phone while mine is in repairs, which is quite good because Amy’s phone does everything I needed out of mine anyway. Better still, my phone is being repaired for free under my extended warranty. I kicked up a bitchfit that they weren’t covering me till July because I opted out of my contract early. I told them I’d paid for TWENTY FOUR months UPFRONT and am still an optus customer (just on prepaid), so they had no right to deny me the repairs even though I’d opted out of my contract at 21 months (penalty free cos I spent so much -facepalm-). After lengthy explanation, they apparently agreed. Downside? 95% chance I’ll lose my contacts and (much more upsettingly…) messages/photos. Very devo about that. There were some I would’ve really liked to have written down, but what can you do.

So this week at uni has been okay… aside from the fact that I STILL can’t stay awake through certain lectures. I swear it’s just plain impossible. Plus I have an essay due Friday that I cannot be assed writing. Aaaaaand I had to do some Psychology research participation thing today which I thoroughly did not enjoy. Normally I like that sort of thing but the personality assessment… yeah really wasn’t in the mood. I was criticising myself in every possible way for every possible answer. It was a bit shite. And I called in sick to work because I felt like shite. I have a splitting headache at the present, which is why I’m still awake – stupid panadol not being strong enough! On the plus side, I saw someone today who made me really smile and feel just that BIT less useless at everything important in life. That helped a lot. As did just seeing them and knowing they’re okay.

On top of all of that, I’m finally looking forward to something. Granted, I’m still DREADING something else but I’m flipping it into a positive as much as I can. Toni has suggested I go stay with her in Melbourne for a little while. If she’s serious, and if I have the financials to do so (which is a lot less likely… but I can try), I think I might. I really want to get out of here, and I’ve wanted to go to Melbourne for a while. I feel like shopping not to mention I just plain like Melbourne and yet have hardly seen any of it (I’ve only been once that I can remember, and I was only there for a day on my own outside the hotel). Plus I haven’t seen Toni in years and I think it’d be great fun! But we’ll see how things pan out. I wonder if it’s cheaper to drive or to fly nowadays? Petrol’s so expensive and domestic flights so aren’t if you pick them right haha. Things to ponder…

Also, I’m seeing a good friend I haven’t seen in a fair while on Monday, so that’s also lifted my spirits a bit. I guess some DO still want to keep in touch. That’s nice to know

That’s enough from me right now. I really REALLY need to sleep…

Late again

For the past few days I have been, as Nat would so well put it, “cracking the sads”. I couldn’t tell you why – I just haven’t felt particularly good about life in general. Ah what an emo kid I am but in all seriousness, it’s fair shit.

I haven’t been up to a great deal the past couple of days. I’ve been working until very early hours of the morning and sleeping till very late hours in the afternoon as a result. This morning I had decided I might see if Lewis was busy in the morning as I rather felt the need to see a friendly face. However, as per usual with me, when my alarm went off at a time earlier than I’m used to getting up, I really couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed so simply went back to sleep. But joy of joys! All was not lost. Evidently Lewis read my mind, because when I woke up (somewhere around 12:45pm >_<; ) I had a message from him asking if I wanted a visitor. Granted I started work early and he was a good hour or so off, but it was really great to see him despite the short amount of time and it made me feel a HELL of a lot better about needing to go to work. I think I woulda been in the pissiest mood known to man kind for the entire 8 hours if I hadn’t seen him. Instead, I was overly cheerful

Work was as to be expected – namely insanely busy. Without Kathleen and Jerald there (they’re on holidays), I am (apparently) the fastest maker there. That doesn’t count for much when I’m still half as quick as either of them and we’re INSANELY busy because of the long weekend. Fortunately it died towards the end of the night, so we managed to get the dough done by 12, so I was out by 12:35 this is a nice change from the norm of 2am. The plus side is, of course, that across the past two weeks I’ve made a fair bit of money so hopefully I’ll be able to pay it back into my savings account like I’ve wanted to for ages (I’m about $700 down). It won’t be ALL that I need to put back in there but it’s a start.

Oh and since I missed the update, I should also add that on Wednesday night Elyse cooked up a storm for us under guise of a girl’s night. I haven’t had that good of a feed in… well I can’t really remember the last time. It was awesome!

Well I’m out of things to say and am becoming more and more conscious that I should go to bed (not that I will – I’m hungry. I’m going to have to find a way to get food without waking Adam and Shannan). So on that note, goodnight!

So tired…

I am exhausted, thus this will be short.

Everything between my last post (and parts OF my last post) and yesterday evening was crappeh, minus a brief stint of something to be mentioned later. However, I went to the pub with Lewis and therein also saw some of his friends (mainly Adrian, James and Matty who is an absolute darling) and had a GREAT time last night. Spent the morning with Lewis and family and actually felt capable of facing the next week… well, moreso than I did before when I was about three seconds away from pick-axing something. In fact, it put me in an incredibly good mood, which made other events of today awesome (that and the fact that Keanan and Damon are absolute LEGENDS… although they need to invest in separate wardrobes ;]). After those events, I got to catch up with Ace and Dan who confirmed the fact that I am an idiot during a game of trivial pursuit. Was a lot of fun, despite my mother going mental at me when I got in the car and despite Dan making constant fat jokes on my behalf and Ace calling me a slut gotta love em.

Tomorrow I am catching up with Rhiannon, cleaning my fish tank (my filter clogged sometime today… when I got home, I could hardly SEE MY FISH – that’s how dirty the water got WITHIN A DAY!) and sleeping a lot, because I truly am EXHAUSTED.

Till then!

Sleep is for the weak! … but I wants it!

The funny thing about a movie you enjoy the first time is that GENERALLY speaking you enjoy it the second time… but enough to pay money for it? Ooooh tough call. Either way we ended up seeing St. Trinian’s last night – for Nat, Elyse and I it was our second round with the short skirted heroines (coincidence that the word looks like heroin? Not really in this case. Those girls must be crack whores to be that thin ).

Don’t get me wrong – these female actors are probably the only attractive girls I’ve seen lately that I HAVEN’T felt a compulsion to stab with a spork… Why remains a mystery. But it was good fun to see the gang again. From there we headed to Maccas where we saw, as Amy so fondly referred to them, some of my “Cronies” – who proceeded to nearly break my glasses (thank you Damon and Keanan -facepalms-). This too was much fun. I spent the rest of the night in a very poor state. I won’t expand on that because you probably don’t care, but needless to say it sucked and thank goodness for Lewis. If he hadn’t cheered me up and put up with my whining I think I might have… well stabbed someone with a spork!

I like sporks

Today was pretty good. Rather than CLEAN my room as I was meant to I stuffed the contents of my floor into my closet… I’ll get to the cleaning it out part eventually I promise. Instead I went for a quick lunch with Danielle, seeing as how I’ve been saying I’ll catch up with her for ages but haven’t really had enough time. It was good. I whinged again I do that a lot recently. In fairness I’ve actually had reasons to recently after that I went to work. I had a bit of fun there today ‘cos it was quiet and relaxed and it was all cool people there. No one yelled or threatened me always fun. Plus, as I was leaving, I saw Lewis – who had come to cheer me up some more and make sure I was okay ^^ awesome, yes? We hired out the movie Hitman.

It was surprisingly awesome. But then again, I just love pointless action.

Well, I’m tired and I have to be up early for secret business (which I shall reveal eventually… but not now).

Peaceout! xox

Brownies, movies and one heck of a headache

Unsurprisingly I have yet again come to find that my family sucks on the “telling each other stuff” front. Turns out that mum and dad are NOT moving out next year, and somehow this did not strike them as pertinent to inform me. So I have a couple of choices now – I can stay in uni next year and see if perhaps being in the new house (okay I’m going insane… I typed that as hows) will mean less stress and thus hating uni less. Or I can assume I’m still going to hate uni, and defer for a year to work full time. At least that way my money woes will be solved – but in that case, I won’t be graduating till I’m 23 or so. Ouch. It could rather be a “get it over and done with” type thing. I’m not sure. Still.

Other than that, today has been spent in a permanent argument with mum and dad who didn’t seem to want to get out of the house. Once they had finally left, I began the mystical adventure of BROWNIES! I was making them by Adrian’s mum’s recipe, only with a slight alteration because I couldn’t find any 250g blocks of chocolate at my local shop. Here are some fun pictures of the process:

Mmmm gloop.

That’s a hell of a lot of milk chocolate. You can’t seriously make low-fat brownies right?

I was a bit more careful in chopping the white chocolate. I learn from my mistakes!

More gloop.

The chocolate that went into the gloop

The gloop in the baking tin… which is completely the wrong type of tin but it’s the only sort of tin we have that will fit in our microwave (we don’t have an oven – I have to bake everything on the convection setting)

The finished product!

The drink that kept me sane even whilst I was scalding myself with boiling water.

Funtimes all around. Tonight I’m going to the movies with a random assortment of Gleeson friends, which should be good… despite the fact that I am BROKE and going to be for many months and really can’t afford to go to the movies.

I owe $600 to my savings account, and counting. I have to keep taking money out of it for bills. It’s le shit. Oh well. Update on the movie later

As promised…

For once, Steph delivered with an update! Be afraid, be very afraid. I did, however, forget to take photos to accompany it. The silly thing is that I did remember to bring my camera – it was just the using it part that I neglected.

Today I drove up to Jenna’s, after having yet another encounter with the crappiness of Optus’s customer service. I think I may have made record time going up through chain of ponds and miraculously did not lose control of the car in the process. I lived to tell the tale! Regardless, seeing Jenna again was great. I got to vent a lot and just enjoying her company again was good (of course!).

However, the whole visit got me to thinking. Predominantly about money, as that was a major theme of my venting. I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m going to do across the next few years, particularly with my parents moving away next year, and I can’t come up with any sort of definite answer. It all ends up based on a bunch of ifs and buts and I don’t like it one bit. Such is life I suppose, but I wish I knew what I was going to do.

The plus side was that I timed leaving perfectly. The downside was that it was peak time for kangaroos being out and I was petrified one was gonna jump out in front of me while driving, but the view was fantastic. It yet again enforced to me the idea of how much I want to move into the country when I’m older – convenient or not.

Well that’s it from me. I have plans to make and headaches to cure. Hope you all had wonderful days

The beginning…

It’s 11:31pm and my weekend has been insanely long. My eyes feel like they are bleeding – consequently, it’s clearly time to do something COMPLETELY self absorbed like create a blog. But fear not comrades! For once this won’t be my usual “whine whine whine I’m so deep” sort of blog. Instead, you can come here to find out the day to day happenings of ME!

Thrilling, yes?

Okay, perhaps not. But at the very least it’ll be a good place for ME to compile day to day crap that I usually waste precious sleeping time reflecting on. Win-win eh? You’ll no longer have to say “Hey Steph what did you do today?” because you’ll ALREADY KNOW!
That or if you DO ask, I’ll be lazy and link you to this page.

So let us begin… my weekend has been comprised of an elated feeling of “OH THANK GOD I DON’T HAVE UNI FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS!”
Say what you will in defense of attending university. Personally, I loathe it. I see why other people like it, but I for one feel a strong sense of bitterness at the fact that I just signed myself up for another four years of hard work I want to know HOW the people who do almost nothing get AWAY with doing almost nothing! Clearly I have much to learn.
At any rate, Friday night was as fun-filled as always (kindly note a mild tone of sarcasm in that one). I was originally working a two hour shift, which extended to a five hour shift which then found its way into becoming an eight hour shift. I got home somewhere in the vicinity of 1.15am, cursing the stupidity of drunken angry customers who take their rage out on lowly pizza employees. Don’t mistake me, I quite like my job. Or rather, I like the people I work with. My job and the customers itself tend to be rather on the shite side of the spectrum. Fortunately, my Saturday was to take a more positive turn. Despite clearly telling Lewis “Give me an hour’s notice before you show up on Saturday”, I found myself answering a phone call at 9.30am. Of course it was Lewis, and of course he was outside my door that very moment. I believe I answered it muttering “I hate you” but I can’t be certain, and I wouldn’t mean it anyway
Fortunately I was allowed to sleep some more, before finding myself somewhere in the area I loosely refer to as “somewhere around my old school”. Here Lewis had his doof-doof professionally tuned (perhaps this sub will last longer than the other before exploding… perhaps) then we were off again to Lewis’s grandparents. I love that family, I really do, and of that I needn’t say any more because without meeting them, you couldn’t understand why they are such wonderful people. Alas, work was looming on the horizon, and it was there that I found myself again that evening. Still, I take some solace in knowing my job could be a hell of a lot worse – and I know it could because I’ve DONE jobs a lot worse. And admittedly it was fun to watch our manager go on a cleaning spree and discover a tennis ball… in a pizza store… hm.
But FINALLY it was time for the much-awaited event of the week. We headed into town where we met up with Ian, Keanan and various other fantastic people at Fumo Blu. It was my first visit there, and I must say that despite my wallet being a hell of a lot emptier, I’d gladly dish out another $13 apiece for cocktails that delicious. Such fruitiness you have never seen! We ended up at the Elephant, by request of Lewis who had friends there. Sadly I have a violent and passionate hatred of crowds, especially of crowds of people around my own age, so I can’t truly pretend I was all-together enjoying that part of the evening. Mind you, I sort of blame the lack of alcohol
We weren’t there long before everyone left, leaving Lewis and I to find ourselves a cab and jetset on home. Lucky I did stay rather sober, or else we would have had a fun time getting back I reckon…

So now it is Sunday, though not for long admittedly. I just found out Toni’s engaged (if you’re reading this, CONGRATULATIONS! And holy shit you just made ME feel old. As if one of my primary school friends is getting hitched ;]) and overall I can’t complain about how my day has gone. I spent it chilling out in very good company before heading off to work… again. But that’s okay, ‘cos I got to come home to a pretty smelling bed and relatively clean room that *I* hadn’t cleaned

Enough of my ramblings – I promise posts from now on will be shorter and have pretty photos accompanying them if I can manage it
Actually, in the spirit of doing that, here’s a photo of my awesome birthday mango:

By far the best mango ever…